BGR vs Friends

I’m back.

Sth is bothering me right now.

I just got to know tat one of my best friends is attached. But there seems to be a clear line drawn right now.

I thought everything is still the same. I can still tease him, hug him and always claim him as one of my dearest guys.

But den. It seems to me tat things are no longer the same.

Recently friends ard me are getting attached. well. I’m not in a rush to do so. Neither do I wan to rush things again.

Looking at him, makes me wonder.

Do ppl tend to forget their friends when they get to meet their love?

I admit I was rather hurt by wat he say. “We wont be able to meet up tat much anymore because I will be spending most of my time with her.”

Tat’s pretty disappointing isnt it?

The fact is I really treat him like one of my dearest.

But well. I’m also guilty of tat. So I am in no position to comment on wat he is doing.

But I guess I din make it tat disappointing.

Life. Life. Life. is seriously sth tat I still have to explore on.

Lilian’s Thoughts

I just came back.

Argh! I’m feeling so down right now. Probably because of all the lectures just now. Damn! I feel so useless. Just cant seem to get the facts in mind.

It’s approaching. I need to do sth abt it.

While waiting for the bus, I had this urge to call up someone.

But I hesitated. Should I or should I not?

In the end, I din.

When I came back, I saw him on msn. Yet I din click on him.

At times, I do miss the late night chit chats under my void deck.

I wonder wat is going on in my mind.

Perhaps I seriously need a break from everything.

Anyway, I din make it for the interview tat day. Which is to say I have to stay on in the zoo.

I’m so stressed up. I seriously need a new job to support myself.

God! I hate this feeling.

Gtg. It’s time for bed.

Gorgeous dress! Xmas present anyone? =)

I’m back!

Just came back from bongo. Had a semi FOBs gathering with Lina, Ifah and Albert! We had fun chit-chatting and catching up. Though FOBs are like so busy now, the random meet ups still warms my heart.

Thanks to u guys for the great night! =)

Well, I am currently having this consistent headache and it’s serious an ass.. It’s so irritating and it’s getting on my nerves. I’m not sure if it’s a migrane cos I dun have history of it. But this consistent pain in the head seriously disturbed my usual life. I cant concentrate well. Argh! Ass!

I guess I need to see a doctor soon for this.

Well, anyway, I tried on a dress at MANGO ytd! And guess wat? It’s freaking gorgeous can! So nice la! and I’m so wanna get my hands on it! I guess I seriously need it for sth impt this sat!

Well..  Any kind souls out there? Size L for tat dress for me!

Hahaha.. Fat hope, Lian!

Alright! Tat’s so random.

Work had been unconsciously hectic recently. I feel tat I’m suffocating in there. Now, come on! Resumes sent! Pls get back to me soon!

We talked again today. Smiling all the way.

Thank God. I love the status now. We are just colleagues and good friends. I’m still loving the secretly smiling inside me. So just let things be.

I guess I need to go for rest soon.

Okay Toddles!

Good Night! =)

My matching new header =)

I’m back..

Another hectic hectic day at work!

I’m officially back in Tbooth today! Yeah! So glad to be back with the bunch of great girls!

Anyway, I got a new header! Thanks to Linda who stayed up till 4am to do it for me.

Well.. Today is the first day of Dec.. And school holidays time! Gonna be busy busy days at zoo everyday!

Which is to say I’m only left with no much time to waste. Need to get my ass off and stop procastinating.

Was quite surprised to bump into Wan today. Really a grown up boy now. It’s always pleasant to bump into juniors that I taught before. I miss NCC!

After work, chilled at Mac with Lina. As usual, she and her double cheese burger.

Well.. I thought I managed to get her mum’s permission to bring her to club. Yet was being told after tat, she din allow. Cos it’s a club.

Seriously, I wonder. Wat is so wrong with clubs?

And after 2 weeks plus, I finally broke the silence.  But well, a chance is given but not being appreciated. So, I guess this pretty much shows wat is in both our minds.

I guess I shall continue with my keeping quiet, ignoring and no eye contact attitude den.

I wonder is it because of my own attitude? But I’m just doing my part. Because I’m afraid. Afraid to sink in again. Yet at the same time, I wish to be good friends again. Contradicting huh? I know.

Well.. This thing is slowly getting off my mind. At least I proved to myself tat I could jolly well get rid of it if I wan to.

Anyway, it’s Ladies night tomorrow! I will be hitting the clubs with Tbooth girls! Will be at Phuture and Powerhouse! Lucky star be by my side pls!

Alright! Time check! It’s 12.05am! Damn! Early counter tomorrow!

Good night ppl!

Reality vs Humanity

I’m back!

It’s a busy busy with crazy crazy ppl today! 100% maddness with all the crowd! God!

I worked till 7 plus! Power man!

Anyway, been meeting so many hilarious and nonsensical guests daily!

I even got labelled a spoilt brat by a member!

Hahaha.. Isnt tat hilarious?

I’m so loving this job right now! Cos everyday I get to meet diff ppl with diff stories they came up with, just to enter the park!

Anyway, went to watch 2012 tat day. I would say this movie is 100% reccomended! This movie reflects alot on parenthood and humanity.

If you were to find out that today is the last day of the world, wat would you do?

Would u rush back to be by ur loved ones’ side and hope to leave the world with them? or Would you call those whom u love yet never dare to say you love them?

While watching this movie, lots of thoughts flashed through my mind.

Will ppl really be selfless when it comes to the time where they have to fight for their own?

Would u try ur best to help those you can? or Would u fight for every right to survive, even if it will sacrifice others?

Whenever it is, this movie is indeed a heartwarming show that reflects much on humanity.

After this movie, I realised and learnt sth.

Should I learn to forgive and forget?

Should I open up tat stubborn heart and start to treat everyone wholeheartedly?

Should I just forgo everything and try to be good friends with him again?

Should I learn to treasure and cherish each and everyone ard me?

It’s often easier said than done.

I met up with Uncle Mason on Wed! He became so much skinner and more tan! Poor him, got an eye infection and the MO sent him back home. Just now he called and told me tat he’s alone at camp.

He’s supposed to do his re-route march tomorrow but was told to book in one day earlier. Yet he booked in just to slack in his bunk ALONE! Hahahaha..

I was laughing at him just now.

Oh Dear! Tat reminds me! I’m supposed to return his call! Damn!

Alright! It’s 11.34pm right now and I’m doing cash counter tomorrow!

*faints*

Good night, ppl! =)

When ppl start to fight with one another, that’s when they lose their humanity.

Lilian’s Thoughts

I’m so in love with JS-Officially missing you.

They are such great singers and pretty.

Here’s the youtube link for u guys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtXr0pIRSg4

“And I, I’m officially missing you.”

I really am.

Protected: Disappointed

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

Lilian’s Thought

I just got back from work. Feeling lethargic.

I had fun at work ytd. Happy flushing! I drove the buggy near maintainence area. So fun!

Side gate today was maddness. At least the mosquitoes benefitted today. They confirmed turned gemok after sucking my blood for almost 4 hrs today.

Entrance was fun, as usual. I love the face-to-face experience we encountered. Be it nasty, be it friendly, it all counts.

The culture there is really. Well, the ppl too.

I was rather surprised tat my name was being used when an “interrogation” was carried out to find out the cause of a miscommunication.

But I was more surprised with myself when I din argue back and in fact took the blame on. Kept quiet and act macam I really was at fault. Totally mine. This is so not Lilian. “Lian, this is so not you.”

I bet my name gonna appear in GRO email soon.

“GRO Lilian refuse entry just because I never bring my staff pass.” “She was being inflexible.” “I came all the way, just to get rejected at the entrance.” “This is ridiculous!”

*rolls eyes* I cant be bothered. I’m just doing my job. I guess I at least rejected 10 guests daily just because of the staff pass thingy.

The key word is, U wan to enter, show ur staff pass. If not, I will just have to be the door bitch.

Jo Ann was grumbling to me just now. “Why are u leaving us?” “U so bad ah, should wait for me to go first.”

Hahahaha. Cute la this Jo Ann.

I just wan to leave. As soon as possible. Dragging myself from bed everyday is so ironic. I dun used to be like tat.

I have been thinking of this and that recently.

I tink sth is wrong with my tear glands. I tend to broke down easily. So not Lilian. The Lilian tat I always am.

Perhaps it’s only when it comes to things I tink tat matters.

I still find myself walking back home unconsciously, on the route we used to walk.

I still find myself staring at bus 858.

I guess all this will end soon. Soon, Lilian.

I feel like being implusive for once. Can I?

Lilian’s Thoughts

I’m having my gastric pain. I’m having a bad headache.

I’m exhausted from work.

I walked back to the old path where we used to walk.

I thought back.

I’m holding back.

I’m resisting.

I feel like breaking down.

I hate this me.

I need a break.

I need a getaway.

Lilian’s Thoughts

I had this urge.. I read through my old posts in my previous blog.. Suddenly, there’s this sensation.. I miss those times.. I miss those days.. I miss being a little girl.

I guess everyone have their good and bad times..

Recently, I realised one of my friends is kind of ignoring me. I wonder is it me being too sensitive? But after umpteen times of sms-es and calls, he dun reply or call back..

Wat is wrong? Seriously.. If he is some tom, dick or harry, I wouldnt care less..

But he’s not. He’s an important friend to me. Someone whom I used to look forward to see. Someone whom I was damn excited when I re-met him last yr. Someone whom I know is a friend that I dun wish to lose.

I thought all along, everything had been fine. We are friends. Not very close but we keep each other in our minds. The frequent sms exchanged to show care and concern do matter.

Yet now.. His reaction kind of disappointed me.

To u: Is there any misunderstanding? Can u reply my sms? Can u reply my call? Did I disappoint u in any way?

I’m quite bothered by this. I dun like ppl to hide here and there.

Perhaps not everyone can just come up front and talk things out.

But I do hope u will.

Will u? I wonder.